Kayaking is expensive

As most of you who read BB's blog last week know, he bought me a kayak for my birthday. It is a nice, tandem, inflatable kayak that strongly resembles a canoe to me. Last week, taking it out on the Sandy River at our camping site was quite beautiful. The Sandy River Gorge is a gorgeous place to camp and kayak. The river is not that deep and the scenery is breathtaking.

But yesterday, we decided to take it out on one of the rivers that run through Portland, the Willamette, since BB is on call and we couldn't go very far. It is large and deep and patroled by oregon state patrol. I find it remarkable that no one that we had mentioned we bought a kayak to told us that there is a huge fine for not having a life jacket. Not even the guys who sold us the kayak. And no one from our home group knew or they would have mentioned it last week.

Now we know. Being brought back to shore in the police boat and being handed a ticket for $242 started to ruin the afternoon. Then we tried to go biking from the park we were at and BB's tire was completely flat so he went and got a few life jackets and we tried again. This time, we made it to the island we were originally headed for. It was a small little island, Ross Island, in the middle of the Willamette. Some people were camping there and when BB walked by, they told him he had been voted off the island and all of the kids started chanting "Drunken Sailor" at him. I didn't witness this, I was by the kayak with the kids playing in the sand. So he was quite offended. All and all, a very strange, rather upsetting day that BB and I never wish to repeat.

More Weekend Fun

I did a hike by myself last weekend up at Mt. Hood. So I had to take a picture of myself to prove to BB I did it. It was a 6.5 mile hike up to the top of a small mountain next to mirror lake and Mt. Hood.

This is the early morning view of the lake and mountain. It was breathtaking.

This is Woogy at the air show here in Portland two weeks ago. He loved his daddy taking just him.

This was the Clark County Fair 3 weeks ago in Washington State north of Vancouver. Nibbles still loves the horses or "moos".

We are going camping with our church group this whole weekend. This is a first for our family. Wish us luck.

The Insomnia Curse

I have had insomnia off and on most of my adult life. It started in college when I was in a really stressful semester with a heavy duty schedule. It really got bad my first year of teaching. I even started sleep-walking and having night terrors, waking up screaming about teaching. I only know because BB told me about them. I would come out and have entire conversations with him asleep.

When I began my first lab job, my insomnia was so bad I went to the doc and he put me on anti-anxiety medicine for a while. The problem with medication, for me, is I get psychologically addicted. Let me explain. When you have serious insomnia, you get a certain feel to your brain before you fall asleep that you recognize. The only way I can describe it is this: your brain is wide awake. After a few days, you start to be afraid of the moment you lay down, if you are going to get this feeling like your brain is wide-awake. So it is a perpetual cycle. The original cause of the insomnia may fade, but the fear continues and feeds the insomnia cycle. When I went on medication, I immediately felt better because the cause of my insomnia, at that point, was probably my fear and the doctor telling me this would help caused my fear to ease. So when the doctor tells me it's time to go off the medication, I immediately fall into the insomnia cycle again because my fear returns.

Can anyone relate to this or am I totally losing it? Yes, I am going through another bout of insomnia. And of course, something big happened at work to probably set it off. My technician was let go due to lack of funding so I am doing the job of 1-2 people, somedays 1 and somedays 2.

If it continues, I will have to go back to the doctor and see what new advances they have come up with in the 7 years since I have needed something to help me sleep.

Weekend fun

This is what we have been up to for a month or so. This was 4 weeks ago at the Silver Falls State Park by Salem. We had just dropped off Woogy with grandma for camp that week and we stopped here on the way back to Portland. This is the South Falls.

This is the North falls at Silver Falls State Park. You can hike down to the bottom.

Nibbles loves getting in the water. She actually fell in and was completely drenched.

This was last weekend at Cascade Head on the Oregon Coast. It is a mile walk from a forest road trailhead to this bluff overlooking the coast north of Lincoln City. We have done this hike 5x.

The marine layer was coming in off the ocean. You never can predict that.

This was Drift Creek Falls in the Coastal Mountain Range on the way to Newport last weekend. Woogy got quite adventurous and climbed all over that day. Nibbles fell in again.

BB didn't take a picture of the suspension bridge on this hike, but there is a huge one overlooking the falls. Monty refused to cross without help. I wanted to go on this hike because this was our first hike in Oregon 5 years ago on our first trip out here for vacation. We also did the Cascade Head on that trip. Now you can see why I feel in love with Oregon on that trip.

Depending on grant money

Work is going ok, challenging though. The other technician in the lab is here for her last week and I am learning all of the dissections and experiments she does so I can take over. I am going to be really stressed out, possibly, when she is gone and I am doing the work of 1 1/2 people-2 people at times. We are finishing the project she is working on, but we are not quite done so I have to finish.

When the lab shrinks down a little more, we can get by with just one technician. But as it is, it's still just as big with 5 post-doc fellows. My boss got a few little grants so we are doing somewhat better, but he will still have to let more people go soon. The grants are too little to pay salaries, just buy supplies. I wish my boss would let me know the full picture, as it is I don't know who will be let go next.

Seattle

My favorite part of Seattle was the Seattle waterfront and aquarium. The octopus was fascinating. They gave it a jar with a fish in it and the octopus opened it and ate the fish.

As BB said, we go to the Oregon Coast Aquarium all the time, but they don't feed their fish by scuba diving with the fish. BB and I were watching this wondering if the small sharks (not in picture) ever bit too hard on the diver, mistaking him for fish???

BB hated this picture, but the seals were performing tricks for us and of course, this is not Sea World, so there wasn't bleachers or anything. You watched from behind the fence. I didn't know seals could be trained to jump up and touch a ball like a dolphin or orca.

Puget Sound has several pods of orcas that live there year-round, probably because of the extensive seal population there. We didn't see any orcas, but I got to ride a pretend one.

As BB said, I loved the market, mostly because of the gluten-free bakery that had fabulous muffins!!! But it was the most sensational farmers market I have ever imagined or seen. It was 6 city blocks long with some of the cheapest floral arrangements you will ever see!

I loved our waterfront cruise. BB and I were wondering why so many ocean fish lived there, then we found out it is mostly salt water, even though it's 80 miles from the ocean. How does that work???

I thought this was cool because I have never seen a policeman on a horse before. I asked BB where the poop went and who cleaned it up. The answer was apparent in a few feet. It laid there and no one was cleaning it up. Yuck! I am torn between the green aspect of saving the economy with the disgust of it. Absolutely, one fabulous weekend and too short.

Eagle Creek in the Columbia River Gorge

Today, I went on a hike that we could never do as a family because Woogy can't handle a hike over 1.5-1.9 miles. I hiked 5 miles and I am quite sore, pushing Nibbles up rocky hills. I have heard about this hike and wanted to go so when BB and Woogy went to the church kickball tournament, I decided to head to Eagle Creek. It has very steep drop-offs so it's not very kid-friendly. And it was very rocky, but beautiful.

After a two and a half mile hike, you descended sharply to a gorge with the creek and waterfall. It was about 20 degrees cooler down there, but a nice place for lunch. Being only about 70 degrees with cold mountain water rushing by to a small waterfall, it wasn't the ideal place to get in the water. But Nibbles did try.

Nibbles loves playing in the water. We stayed at the bottom of the gorge for an hour and a half before she would leave.
They call this Punchbowl Falls. It was only a few hundred yards from where we ate lunch. People were jumping off it to the creek below, so it wasn't a huge waterfall. I stood on top of it to take this picture obviously.

The hike back finally reached ground level again and Nibbles played for another 45 minutes or so, this time where it was 90 degrees so the water was a little more enjoyable.

It is always nice to just hike with Nibbles without all of the complaining my son does. Maybe someday he will learn to love hiking as much as I do. Obviously, Nibbles loves to hike.

Trip to Mt Saint Helens Volcano

This trip was another one that I had been pushing BB to do, like the trip to Eastern Oregon in April. I don't know how many people we told of our failed trip exactly a year ago, but I have been wanting to go back ever since. Last year, I didn't research which way we should take first so one Sunday last June, we just set off, following the directions in our hiking guide. When we got up to the mountain, the road was gone, huge crater in its place. Wiped out by a landslide during the heavy rains. So this time, we made it.

This is Coldwater Lake, one of the lakes created during an eruption by Mt. Saint Helens. Mt Saint Helens is a very active volcano, erupting 16 times in 400 years.

You could actually walk out on the lake. They don't know which eruption blocked up the valley and filled it with water. Spirit Lake and Crystal Lake were created the same way.

This shows some of the destruction of the landscape. Where there were trees, they were dead but there were some very small trees. At one stop, we saw where the landslide and lava flow had basically turned a valley into rock. We saw a bunch of elk down on this plain, but only in the viewfinder so no pictures of that.

This was taken from the Johnston Ridge Observatory, the farthest you can drive up to the volcano. The ridge gets its name from a man named Johnston who was a geologist stationed there to watch the volcano. Apparently, an earthquake in March of 1980 was what probably awakened the volcano and they started to see lots of earthquakes and activity so they were watching the volcano for two months before it blew. The lava dome that is currently building is in the middle of the crater. You can see where the lateral blast eruption blew out the side of the mountain.

You can hike past the Observatory on the ridge for 2 miles, but we only made it about half a mile out, there were huge snow drifts to climb over, yet it felt like 90 degrees outside. It was a barren landscape, no trees. You can see in the valley behind me the huge craters made by the landslide caused by the side of the mountain blowing out and the lava flows that came later. The large peaks of rock that stayed in the valley from the mountain are called hummocks.

This picture shows a lot of what looks like steam coming off the crater. It is probably landslides, according to the films and information we read in the two observatories we visited. The unstable landscape causes almost constant landslides in the summer. But the forest ranger we listened to said there is ash and rock still being put out every day, one large truck worth.

The eruption caused three huge events to occur, a huge landslide where the mountain blew out. This landslide they believed traveled at 150 mph. It was diverted by Johnstons Ridge, where we were, and continued down the Toutle River Valley where we saw the elk. The blast cloud followed next of gas, rock and heat and traveled 300 mph. This killed all wildlife and vegetation for about 20 miles in the blast zone. Then, the intense heat of the blast caused water to boil underground near the crater and caused huge geysers to erupt where there are now craters in the ground. Then the intense heat caused the snow and glaciers to melt on that mountain and surrounding mountains causing massive flooding. The dead trees filled Spirit Lake completely and I believe, Coldwater Lake was filled by the massive landslide. Then about 24-48 hours after the eruption, the ash started to fall. The ash even reached Portland we are told.

So that was our trip to Mt. Saint Helens. One beautiful, but exhausting day.

Job Woes Part II

Here is the scoop. Only 3 people are being asked to leave within 1-2 months. My boss is being very selective and secretive about who he tells to leave. I am only finding out when the person tells me what's going on. So either the situation is not as bad as my co-worker J was told in her meeting with our boss, or he is taking his time deciding what to do. I was told by someone who was asked to take this job they have been offered at Johns Hopkins, that eventually, my boss wants it to be just him, myself and one other post doc who is more like a junior PI. So I am not very worried at the moment. Things may change soon.

Job Woes

I'm not sure I like having a job dependent on grant money. Something big happened today. All of the PIs (Principal Investigators) at my job found out that they were all turned down for the big NIH grants, called RO1's. Not one of the PIs (6 of them) were given these big grants so everyone is going to have to fire people, including my boss. Apparently the economy is making Congress cut way back on the money set aside for research. My boss is letting go 55% of the lab within a few months with potentially more to follow. I'm not sure of the time-table yet, but they are all leaving relatively soon too. I am not being let go, yet.

Things are pretty shaky. My boss is not sure how he will pay his own salary, or run his lab on the money he has now. If most of the lab goes, I'm not sure what I will be doing anymore either. I am sure if we lose over half the lab, my job description may change a little. So this is pretty huge. I am kind of in shock that all of these people that I admire and love working with are going to be gone soon. Apparently, things have been bad for 6 months but my boss has been waiting to let people go until he heard about the grant reviews due out today. And the worst of it is, even my boss's boss is losing his grant money and if all of the PI's labs shrink, Legacy may close down the Dow neurobiology labs altogether. I am not sure if this is really possible, but everyone is talking about how Legacy is nit helping out the PI's and giving internal grant money. Some of the people in my lab think my boss may be forced to go somewhere where they give the PI's more help.

The worst part of all of this is, I heard all of it second-hand. My boss told all of the people the situation that were being let go yesterday, like my junior research assistant, J. She told me everything today. She thinks he doesn't want to tell me so that I don't start looking for a new job. I am sure he doesn't want to lose both of his research assistants and me, his lab manager. So, now I have to decide if I wait to see what happens or start looking for a job. I think I will consult the Lord about this alot. J thinks that if my boss leaves Portland, he may ask me to come with him. Alot of the PI's try to take their head assistants/lab managers with them when they leave so they have someone who already knows how to run their lab. I don't want to leave Portland though.

Has summer arrived in Portland?

We have been waiting so patiently, 9 months of waiting for the rains to stop. We thought they had stopped last month, because we had a week of good weather before our vacation to Kansas. But we came back to cold temps and rain, at least rain 5-6 days of the week. We have seen a few good days of sunshine, but they have been few and far between this spring. And when June arrived, temps were in the 50's everyday with rain. Quite depressing. In KC, Woogy's birthday was always celebrated in air conditioning with 100 degree temps. Two days ago, it was 50 degrees at the park and cloudy. But it's Portland and people came to the party anyway.

Yesterday, the forecast was for 5 days of sunshine and 70 degree temps. Dare I say summer has finally arrived and the rains are stopping? I am almost afraid to because as soon as I do, we'll get rain. But I can't stop hoping. Now I know why Portland schools just got out two days ago and doesn't start until after Labor Day. Because summer hasn't started so why not keep kids in school.

I know this comes as quite ironic considering that most of my readers live in the Midwest and are being barragged with rain and have had record flooding. That is an interesting comparison. We are entering the dry season and they the rainy season. Well, let's hope that soon, we will take off the jackets and strangely, wear shorts or even short sleeve shirts. And what about sandals? I don't miss the air conditioner running all the time, but I do miss wearing short sleeve shirts. If BB starts blogging about hikes every weekend, you know summer has begun. We shall see.

Nibbles and Ear infections

This is the second double ear infection Nibbles has had in two months. And the fevers she has had, 104 degrees! Last month and this month. She had such a high fever Friday night that she had a seizure and hallucinations. They are called febrile seizures and commonly recur after appearing in your child.

Yesterday was her birthday party and she stayed somewhat well for the party, but immediately after got very fussy, vomited and ran a fever again. And the coughing. I haven't slept well in days and days. I don't know if we should take Nibbles to an allergist to determine what may be setting off the symptoms that cause these infections. An allergy test is painful, especially for a child Nibbles age.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO KNOW THE STORY !

It has been so long since I blogged that I had to write about something. I did get to see this movie over memorial day weekend. That is huge because I never get to go to movies, ever! But I had to choose Indy or Prince Caspian. I choose Indy. I always loved these movies growing up. I was a huge Star Wars fan so anything with Harrision Ford was a must see as a young girl. I had been warned though, that this movie was very different. My sister had told me not to waste my time with it, she regretted even going. But I decided to go anyway. And the theatre was so packed, people were standing in the back. I only know this because Woogy had to go to the bathroom.

I liked it. It was different, it was unusual, and it was daring for Indiana Jones. BB was not that impressed with it though, he kept going "Indiana Jones and Aliens?" Yes, there are aliens. BB thought this was too far-fetched for an Indy movie, but it reminded me a little of Last Crusade, where the german Nazi scientist loses herself trying to get the grail. There is a similar situation with a Russian scientist trying to find the crystal skull.

Most of the movie, in my opinion, followed the "Indy formula". It had the basic beginning where Indy is in big trouble. Then he gets out, finds a new artifact to find amidst great danger, lots of chase scenes and fights, then the bad guys catch up in the end. The only bizarre thing was the aliens and of course, reuniting with Marion from Raiders. I really thought it was pretty good though.

Latourell Falls Hike

Nibbles and I went hiking by ourselves yesterday. Normally, BB and I don't split up like that. This was unusual. Woogy had an early afternoon t-ball game so if we didn't leave really early, we wouldn't make it back in time for the game. So Nibbles and I left at 8:30 and headed to the Columbia River Gorge to a very difficult hike, one we couldn't do very well with Woogy with us. We did it last year with both kids and it was tough on them. The first half of the trail is all up the mountain and it was rocky and very muddy. It was very challenging pushing the stroller up that, but it was a good work-out.

And the mountain was covered with wildflowers, as you can from the pictures. It was beautiful, and so peaceful without the normal mountain full of hikers. The only other people there were the park rangers when I arrived. I think I like hiking with my whole family though. BB said we could go today, but I am glad I didn't wait because Woogy says his ear hurts, he has a fever and a bad cough. So BB will be going out with Nibbles without me today.

Eastern Oregon

BB didn't post quite a few pictures from our trip. And I have been thinking of our trip this week at work alot, remembering the beauty. FYI, when we come to Kansas next month, I no longer have to drive up to Iowa, my dad is coming down. So I can come to church and see everyone that Sunday, May 18th. I know BB talked to Forest, but are Golden and Dust going to be there??

My hubby the polar bear

It has occurred to me lately that if I am an animal, I would probably be an ant or a bee. (Deborah means "Busy Bee" in Hebrew) I work hard, keep to the task, like warm weather, have little sense of humor. But if BB was an animal, I would make him a polar bear. He is like those bears at the zoo who just swim around and play, enjoy life and love the cold.

There have been alot of things in my life lately that have reminded me of how blessed I am to have my husband. Actually, Dust's blog about words our spouse use was one event that got me thinking. BB uses words in a whole new context that most people would find bizarre. But I would miss it if he didn't come home and call the dog, "the animal", say he has to play "legos star wars heehee" with Woogy, call Nibbles "Nipplious Nipplin". To an outsider, our homelife would seem a little bizarre, but I can't imagine it any other way. He helps me to appreciate the day to day routine.

I think about how I balance the checkbook, do the taxes, pay the bills, organize and plan our vacations and weekend getaways. I am so organized and scientific and BB is so totally not. He is laid back, he actually has a sense of humor, he hates all the taxes and bill stuff, and he is perfect for me because we are so polar opposite. Without the bees in life, all of the flowers would die. Without the polar bears, I am sure some ecological disaster would occur because of too many seals, blah, blah, but they are sure fun to watch at the zoo. And my kids would grow up too serious, like me. I love you BB!

Nibbles and Talking

I am getting quite frustrated and worried with Nibbles. Her older brother has been influencing her alot. This is very apparent if you ask her, "who is that?" She replies, "Poopee". If you ask her, "What is that?", she replies "Butt". By this age, Woogy had learned his colors (mostly), his shapes, alot of his numbers and letters, and he knew most people's names.

Nibbles doesn't even talk coherently yet. She has never really liked us to read to her. She has only let us start reading to her about 3-4 months ago, but she doesn't really pay attention at all. Woogy let me read to him starting at age 1 and he let me read 20 stories at a time. He also worked with me when I was trying to teach him shapes and colors. Nibbles shows no interest when I try to teach her anything, unless it's on the computer. She can almost navigate the computer by herself. She can start her favorite Dora CD and start the internet by herself. When she learns how to type "Nick Jr", she will be unstoppable.

So last night, we were at home group and the couple whose house we meet at has a little 1 year old girl. She can say almost anything. The dad sat there quizzing his daughter about tons and tons of stuff. She is amazing. So I told them what Nibbles can say, her two favorite words, and not 2 minutes later, she comes out and calls me, "Pooppee butt". Need I say more!

Family issues resolved

I feel like I should update my last blog. Now that I have explained our expectations, our financial situation, and laid it all out on the table, my step-mom says that she did have different expectations of us and that was causing all of the problems. She appreciated me telling her and now that she knows that we never planned on coming to Iowa again, she is ok with it. Still disappointed, but she says she can accept it. We can't make everybody happy.

This just goes to show that alot of disagreements are over different expectations that are never voiced. Take husband and wife quarrels, perfect example. I am just glad this quarrel is over.

Family Issues

I am beginning to realize that how you view things and how your family views things are totally different. This can make life difficult.

Take my dad and step-mom. I am realizing that they had a completely different impression of how things would be after we moved to Portland. BB and I talked about it before we moved, of course. We would probably never go back to Iowa. We would fly into KC and hope my dad could come down. And we never anticipated going back every year, maybe every 2 years. However, I guess it was our mistake that we didn't share that with my dad and step-mom. Their impression was that we would come up to see them once a year. They apparently think we have lots of disposable income and endless vacation. So life has become difficult.

I am trying to smooth things out, but my step-mom is a formidable woman.
Our visit in May is causing all of the problems. BB and I are leaving Woogy with my sister and her kids in Rantoul. I have thought and prayed about it, and it just doesn't seem fair to my children to make them fly on the airplane to KC and then travel 8 hours up to Cedar Rapids. I have to take Nibbles this time and it is going to make for a terrible vacation, I am sure. I think it's the right decision. They can come down to KC if they want to see Woogy, after all.

So my family issues are quite a problem right now. I replied to my step-mom's disgruntled email with a long. long email explaining our situation and why we have come to this decision. I also said that I didn't want to come up in May if there are angry feelings toward me and unresolved issues. Either my dad and step-mom can accept our decision, in which case I will come. Or they can stay mad, in which case I will not come up in May. I think I did the right thing. I put the ball in their court, so to speak. We will see if I am booted from the family in Iowa!!

The price for this day

With the recent passing of our friend's baby, I've been thinking alot of our own mortality. It doesn't help that the anniversary of my mom's death is coming up in April. I can't help thinking that we are blessed for each and everyday that God allows us to continue living on this earth. I found this poem in my mom's things after she died and I read it at her funeral. It was fitting.

A New Day

This is the beginning of a new day

I have been given this day to use as I will

I can waste it or use it for good

What I do today is important because

I'm exchanging a day of my life for it

When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever

Leaving in its' place whatever I have traded for it

I pledge to myself that I shall be

Gain not loss; Good not evil; Success not failure

In order that I shall not regret the price I paid for this day

Author unknown

May the Lord bless your path and make it joyous, bright, and free of obstacles as you travel on this path we call life. Don't forget the price you paid for this day.

Very Sad News

Last night, we found out that a great couple in our home group just lost their baby. She was 33 weeks along. All we knew last week was that she had the "itchy, liver thing". We were going to bring them meals each week until she delivered.

I had never heard of this condition. Apparently, it's very rare (1 in 1000 women get it). I did a little research and found out it's called ICP. This is from the March of Dimes website: "ICP is a pregnancy-related liver disorder in which there are abnormalities in the flow of bile (a substance produced by the liver that aids in the digestion and absorption of fats). These abnormalities lead to a build-up of bile acids (components of bile) in the mother’s blood, resulting in symptoms such as severe skin itching. Up to 60 percent of women with ICP deliver prematurely (before 37 completed weeks of pregnancy)"

BB and I are very sad because they are our home group leaders, we see them every week, study the bible with them and pray with them. The Lord is our Shepherd.

Ohio Rollercoaster

Someone just emailed me this. I thought it was rather interesting how scary they are making rollercoasters these days. I can't hardly ride them anymore, I guess I am getting too old. How many of you would ride this??