I have had insomnia off and on most of my adult life. It started in college when I was in a really stressful semester with a heavy duty schedule. It really got bad my first year of teaching. I even started sleep-walking and having night terrors, waking up screaming about teaching. I only know because BB told me about them. I would come out and have entire conversations with him asleep.
When I began my first lab job, my insomnia was so bad I went to the doc and he put me on anti-anxiety medicine for a while. The problem with medication, for me, is I get psychologically addicted. Let me explain. When you have serious insomnia, you get a certain feel to your brain before you fall asleep that you recognize. The only way I can describe it is this: your brain is wide awake. After a few days, you start to be afraid of the moment you lay down, if you are going to get this feeling like your brain is wide-awake. So it is a perpetual cycle. The original cause of the insomnia may fade, but the fear continues and feeds the insomnia cycle. When I went on medication, I immediately felt better because the cause of my insomnia, at that point, was probably my fear and the doctor telling me this would help caused my fear to ease. So when the doctor tells me it's time to go off the medication, I immediately fall into the insomnia cycle again because my fear returns.
Can anyone relate to this or am I totally losing it? Yes, I am going through another bout of insomnia. And of course, something big happened at work to probably set it off. My technician was let go due to lack of funding so I am doing the job of 1-2 people, somedays 1 and somedays 2.
If it continues, I will have to go back to the doctor and see what new advances they have come up with in the 7 years since I have needed something to help me sleep.
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4 comments:
Sorry to hear about your insomnia. I think Dust can understand where you are coming from. I know when I'm going through stressful times I have a hard time sleeping.
Yeah, I think I understand what you are talking about. A big part of the reason that I don't go to bed until late is that I hate just lying there in bed with nothing to do but to think about not being able to go to sleep. It's easier just to go to bed later and go through the next day in a mildly sleep-deprived state.
I hope you are able to overcome this. It sounds like it is induced by the things that are going on in your life. Hopefully, those get sorted out soon so you can get some sleep.
I've been lucky and have never really suffered insomnia. I can usually go right to sleep. One thing you could try would be to watch the first "Star Trek" movie. You'll sleep.
I hope u can figure something out. My sister has to take medicine to help her sleep. I'm up late a lot, but it's because I choose to be, not because I can't sleep. Bummer.
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