Endless illness

Sometimes I wonder why God gives some people so many physical challenges and ailments. I am very blessed that I have a very healthy husband and son, who both rarely get sick. Unfortunately, little Nibbles and I have been sick most of this month.

Nibbles is having serious asthma problems. She has had two bad colds this month. With the first one, I got a call from my sitter saying Nibbles couldn't breathe. So I rush home and take her in to the pediatrician and she gets diagnosed with asthma. We have an inhaler for her now. But I had to use the thing on her constantly for a week and sometimes it didn't even help. So I took her back and they put her on steroids (prednisone). One week later, she gets another cold and the asthma starts over again. The worst thing is how she coughs when she is wheezing, all night long. None of us get any sleep. I give her the inhaler 2x a night when she is like this and it just barely helps. It has cleared up now, but just yesterday, she was having another runny nose, not even a week since she got over the last cold!!!

All BB has to say is that she must have inherited my immune system. It's true. I am not the healthiest person, even though I eat healthier than anyone I know and run everyday. I have had a sinus infection now for a month. I have learned that antibiotics do more harm than good, for me, and I resist going on them. So I am suffering, waiting for this one to go away on it's own. But I don't know how much more I can take. I have asked my church and bible study to pray for us, but a few more prayers would be appreciated.

Where is a babysitter when you need one?

We got a bomb dropped on us Wednesday night. Our sitter told us she is moving to California in two weeks. Now, she wasn't the best sitter we have ever had so I am not sure I will miss her, but BB and I will both miss her rates and her location. She was one block away and she was very affordable. And she is a christian who often asked us to keep her in our prayers. I often thought the Lord brought us into her house to help her out financially because a lot of her parents don't pay on time and she has had alot of financial problems. That's actually why she is moving, to get into a better position financially. They have family down there.

So, BB and I have been, quite frantically, looking for another sitter that we can afford. And we are not finding any that match our current sitter's rates. And we are finding most of those available are not close to us, so we would both have a much longer commute. We found someone almost as close to us as our current sitter, who BB went to meet yesterday. And except for her rates, she is perfect. We also went to visit another one yesterday who is about 20 minutes away from us, but she is not perfect for us. I am praying that God will open doors and give us clear direction in this matter.

And just last week in bible study, we were studying John and talking about God pruning us so we bear more fruit (John 15:2). One question asked when was the last time I felt pruned by God, and I had to admit it had been quite a while, maybe since we moved to Portland. So we all prayed as a group that God would allow us to bear much fruit in our lives and I am thinking, "How is God going to prune me to increase my faith?" He didn't wait very long, did He?

Photos of the kids

The kids have been going to lots of pumpkin patches and festivals this fall (4 so far). And there are horses or ponys at every one. Nibbles is fascinated with them, calls the horses " Moos". Here are a few pictures of the places we have gone.

Nibbles and the Terrible Twos

Nibbles has entered that age known as the terrible twos. And she is so much worse than her brother ever was at that age. BB and I differ a little in how we handle the 30 minute temper tantrums she is having.

She will get upset at something little, like not getting a toy she wants, and then she will go ballistic. Nothing will calm her. She'll take her clothes off, won't let you pick her up. If you try to touch her, she will scream and hit you and run off (this is a problem when she does it in public). I choose to ignore it if I can, if her behavior isn't causing problems, but often she does things like try to escape the doctor's office and I have to push her away from the door while she screams and hits me. I get looks from all the moms like I am handling it all wrong. The doctor's nurse put us in a special room to wait until the exam room was ready!!!

If it happens at home, it's often because she isn't getting to watch TV she wants so she will turn off the TV. I turn it on and she hits me, hard. So I spank her, and she screams and runs off only to return in a minute to repeat the entire scene. It's not like I can put her in time-out very easily in this situation. She won't stay. If I force her to stay in one area, she will hit me and try to squeeze by. The temper tantrums generally last until she is exhausted and collapses in my arms.

The worst timing of her tantrums was this weekend when we had family pictures taken. We almost cancelled, even though we had all dressed up and we were sitting in front of the camera. In one of the pictures, she is really puffy eyed and upset, but she calmed down a little, enough to take some pictures. But we didn't get the best ones because Nibbles wouldn't cooperate so we took whatever we could get.

Motherhood!

TOPOFF 4: Disaster Drill in Portland

We have been waiting for this day at my work for months. I have been to countless meetings about TOPOFF 4, so you would think today would be anticlimatic. It won't be though. For those of you who are not familiar with TOPOFF, it is an international disaster drill that will occur simultaneously at 3 locations today, Portland, Guam and Phoenix. Last year, it was in Seattle and according to our info it was a complete disaster of a drill, not in a good way though.

I am department safety officer for my lab so I have a big job. I had to determine, based on the location of everyone's office/lab if they would be a fatality or an injury. The dirty bomb will be set off 1/4 of a mile from our building ( simulation: the actual bomb will be set off at Portland International Raceway within a facsimilie of ground zero) Most of the people in offices facing ground zero, I killed off. And they get to stay in the building and play dead all day. But people in areas farther from shooting glass had to be injured. Only one person in my lab was willing to be severely injured. We will carry her out and transport her, somehow, to Emmanuel hospital, our sister facility, about 1 1/2 miles away. They have triage and decon tents set up for the exercise. We don't know how we will transport the injured as yet. Not enough ambulances for everyone during an emergency so the same is true during the drill.

The drill will have timed envelopes that will be released to us at 30 min to hour intervals explaining our situation to us. This should mimic what would happen in a true emergency. We don't know if our bomb will have radiation or biological agents, if our building will be structurally safe enough to re-enter at any time during the day. (We are playing out the scenario for 8 hours). Oh, yeah, it's supposed to rain all day of course. Am I looking forward to this, NO! Is it necessary and preparing us for an emergency, probably. Vice president Cheney and Dept. Homeland Security, FBI, and other acronyms will be around followed by media. I may be on TV, watch the news tonight!!!

Rough Week #2: Crying Nibbles

If you recall my last post, I spent last weekend getting Nibbles to stop nursing at night. It was hard, and I thought a couple nights of crying would do it. I was so very wrong. The problem is that she is spending half an hour to an hour screaming every night now. I don't know how long she is going to keep this up. Last night was as bad as the first night I said no. I am exhausted and I am sure BB is too. He came in last night after she'd been screaming for half an hour to see if he could help. I believe he asked Nibbles if she wanted to come to daddy since I was the cause of her crying. I think Nibbles is torn between being upset with me and wanting her mommy for comfort. She is used to mommy comforting her, not making her cry endlessly. So I am in for another rough week. Please keep Nibbles in your prayers, so she can get over this.

Rough Week

I have been feeling very melancholy this week. Not only did my parents leave last Friday, but the rainy season started the same day. My parents were here a whole week. I haven't spent that much time with my dad in a long, long time, about 12 years. I keep feeling sad because I never got to know my dad growing up so any time I get to spend with him is always precious to me. I am so much like my dad, we understand each other. We are both analytical, deductive reasoning people who like to go to bed early and get up early. Most of my personality comes from my dad, according to my mom (she told me this all the time growing up, but not in a good way since she grew to hate my dad).

So I have that on top of the rainy season just starting. I am new to this rain thing. We came in late November last year so I still got to enjoy a nice fall in KC. We got the kids rain boots and they need them all the time. There isn't a puddle safe from my kids, let me tell you. And unfortunately, I've decided that this is the weekend I am going to stop nursing Nibbles at night (we went to nighttime only feedings about 2-3 months ago). So I am in for a rough weekend too. I warned BB, if he wants to escape to his moms. Pray for me this weekend too. It's going to be a tough time, for me and Nibbles.